Hallowe'en - traditionally a time of dressing in ghoulish costumes and scaring the shite out of one and all, and bobbing for apples in a vat of cider-induced puke. It is now also, historically, the time when RTE (or to be more specific, Network 2) had the good sense to reward Podge and Rodge for their services to television, and offer them the opportunity to present the weekend's ghoulish programmes. And, despite initial moanings about "Dublin ponces in RTE", the two took to their task like the Devil Duck of Ballybollock to water.
So, those unfamiliar with the malevolent two were treated to three consequtive evenings of transmissions from Ballydung, as the boys introduced the likes of "Dracula" and "Interview With A Vampire", alongside some of their choice moments from "A Scare At Bedtime." Check it:
- Rodge arriving back indoors, finding Podge in tremendous leather bondage gear ("For the love of St. Beverly and the Hill Billies!!"), but saves his twin from embarassment by wrongly assuming it is his Hallowe'en costume. A concept the stuttering Podge is happy to embrace. Later, with Rodge having left, Pox, also in full leather regalia, shows up. With the purring feline rubbing against him, leather on leather, Podge plans ahead for the trip to Miss Dominina.
- The Ballydung Hallowe'en festivities, beginning with a witch-burning at 10.30, followed by an exhumation, and then the leper disco.
- As Rodge snores away, Podge whispers sweet nothings into his ear - "they're coming to get you, the bad men are coming to get you. They'll slice you up, put your bits in a bag like your mother and father." Rodge wakes in a mad panic, and his brother consoles him. "Were you having that nightmare again? That's awful, it really is. I don't know where you get them from."
- Rodge attempts to introduce "Dracula", in vampire disguise. Podge, having not been expecting his brother, has Mildred, his inflatable lady friend, in bed with him. Somewhat miffed at the grief he's getting for interrupting the night of passion, Rodge gives Mildred a touch of the fangs. Needless to say, a steady hiss of air ensues. The vampire justifies his actions, claiming "sure you'll have great fun pumping her up later on."
- While waiting for "Interview With A Vampire", there is a little accident involving Rodge's chest and a wooden stake. Podge plays the injury down, stating that "it's only a bit of a stick."
- Fester and Ailin make a return, with Fester introducing their seasonal video with a warning about fireworks, citing the case of Ailin, who had mishandled fireworks one Hallowe'en, and whose embedded firecracker could ignite at any time. Their feisty ditty outlined some of the more popular Hallowe'en activities - chucking hedgehogs on bonfires, dumping on doormats, shagging cows, and placing foreign objects up one's arse. This last option was subjected to further development in the chorus :
"you should never shove a banger up your arse at Hallowe'en,
it's not clever, it's not funny, some think it's quite obscene.
You should never shove a banger up your arse at Hallowe'en,
'cos you'll only blow your hole to smithereens."
Unfortunately, Ailin was standing a bit too near a fire towards the end of the video, and there was a colourful enactment of the song's chorus.
Back in Ballydung, the 2 argued over which album the track appeared on - "Let Me In The Back Door, Sadie", or "Fester & Ailin Fiddle With The Monks." Later, at 2.00am, the 2 pondered over just who would be watching them at such an ungodly hour. Either those returning from being down the pub, lying on the couch in a booze-induced haze (some even "doing it while they're watching us"), or those who had been watching since 8 o'clock - the "sad bastards!!"